man im pitiful

i have been slackin major i know im an idiot but illake up for it. thanks if you read this and if not well then no one will see anyway. gonna finish my wos this week and the start all new on sunday HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD... gotta goal to do real soon.

today work out i loved to hate

Deadlift 3x3 = 3 reps 175 3 reps 185 3 reps 195 then i got stupid and tried 225 the 205 nearley killed me so yeah lets get dumb. ugggh 8 rounds took me 16:36 10 30# DB swings 10 box jumps today was okay i dont like box jumps fat giggles i feel like an outa shape stripper hopin on a box. i used my new kettlebell for the 10 kettlbell swings its fun but painfull
food
breakfast 3 eggs bacon mushrooms tomaotoes omlet snack bannanana lunch was burger no bun with bacon some fruit snack pack of beef jerkey 2 oz dinner thigh cutlets with rainbow chard mushrooms and onions ..nooooooooooooooom

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todays work out was funny had the gym lookin what the hell is this fat guy doin?? you have to look up the bear crawl or ask for the link it is fuckin hard and i know i possibly killed the form haahaa. 15 mins AMRAP 5 – 95# thruster 10 steps bear crawl 5 pushups i did 6 reps it was not funny. i hurt everywhere.
breakfast was a soymilk protien shake with a bannana snack was a plum and a snall handful of my trail mix. lunch was a turkey lettuce and tomatoe wrap woth roasted peppers and guess what the wrap was.... LETTUCE not any wheat or grains so nahnahnah..
but damn it was hard to through the wrap out. and not add mayo and cheese grrrrrrrrrrrrr
snack was a bannana and a mixed fruit thing from the deli and dinner was steak and spinach reruns from last night. well off to bed!

dammit i forgot

i totally forgot to post mondays adventure in pain.
3 sets 3 reps 135# shoulder presses a little heavy fopr me yeah i made it but almost didnt will do em a little lighter next time then i did 5 rounds of 200 meter runs aka slow sprints with 10 push ups and 15 squats per round completed in 15:39
ate good same as usual except i made steak with spinich and green beans yum

ahhhhh sweet hell

today was fun 3 sets of 3 135 # squats then i great round of hell
5 rounds for time of
3 x 95# power cleans
5 x 95# sumo rows or something like that.
5 jumping pull ups was supposed to be regular pull ups only made 5 with the helping rubber band but hey i still made freakin 5 and the one just trying em so nah nah..
265 is my fat ass weight still tryin to eat right and get the weight down but my body aint letting go easy... iugggggggggggh!!
well food was good 3 egg omlet for break fast lunch was a protien shake snak am was banananna pm snack was a donut peach yes a peach shaped like a donut actual fruit not crap. dinner swordfish with broiled zuchinni and kale in garlic and olive oil. now im gonna go eat later!!!

ahhh feeling good

having a good day eggs for breakfast eggs for lunch peach for a snack and yum.. work out today is light for me just did 20 minutes of 15 sit ups, 10 burpees. and 15 push ups....
so moving along back to hell on monday! oh wait im sure nikki and jay will be killing me tommrow

today was hard

okay today same usual food nothingspecial but i did make a fruit salad for dinner i gotta really work hard on the d-word but hey its a process. ate a nice omlet for breakfast i love eggs. had a california wrap for luch i know i know no bread but i ate half the wrap so bleh damn it im trying!!

my snacks between meals today were morning snack a bannan and handful of almonds for evening snack had a beef jerkey bag 1.5 oz dinner was a bannana,pear, and a peach cut up on top of a hamburger haah yeah i know but try it its actually weird but it was good.. todays work out was a doooozy. 5 rounds of 8 deadlifts at 185# wanted to do 10 at 225 but i wanted to take it a bit easy cause i have been a little sore and over tired. and 10 burpees after each set of deadlifts did it in 24 min 33 sec. and almost shit my bag haahaa did almost puke which is always a good thing or something like that.. trying a new sleep method to get rest gonna get sublingual melatonin to help me sleep with cammomile tea man i sound like such a old woman haaha have my tea before bed haah. went out and bought a magic bullet to make me my shakes and actually prepare some meals.. i found a new yummy dessert treat coconut milk yougurt no dairy in it!! yumm

well off to sleep oh yeah work was brutal wednes day so i missed gym .. but as we say this is a life changing process and im doing it on my own not like in the army where i HAD to bein shape im doing this cause i want to i just want to beable to take my shirt off to show off my ink insiead of being embarrased. another day another trip in pain and soreness.,.,.

uggggggggggggh

okay today was fun 3 eggs bacon small coffe snack 1.5 oz beef jerkey a few almonds about 10 lunch was a turkey lettuce tomato sandwich with no bread. dinner two burgers no buns with mango salsa. then a handful of cherries okay 2 handfuls.
work out from hell.
20 minutes as many rounds as i can.
185 # deadlifts x 10
20 jump ropes
and 5 pull ups
I did 7 rounds after 3 and a half rounds i had to stop jumping rope bad on my knees.
so i kept doing the dead lifts and pull ups on the pull up machine with some assistance.
to compensate for my jumping rope I rode the bike fast as i could in bursts for 20 min.
then i went and played softball two games . ugggh i need new frickin knees. help help need knew knees haahaahaa.
well just trying to see whats next my good friend is sending my workouts to me for the rest of the week. soon ill figure out how to make my own once i get the hang of the movements now to tackle a better diet strategy. well im off to bed tommorow is rest day yaaaay!

PLEASE ALL OF YOU WHO READ THIS CHECK OUT THE ZONE DIET,(HATE THAT WORD) PALEO d*$T AND OF COURSE CROSS FIT
IF YOU WANT LINKS JUST ASK!

whew a new start

okay 1st day back to blogging and my quest to not be a fat lazy slob anymore. i want the old hapopy me back in shape love to ride my bikes love to run hike and be out doors not the lazy xbox playin fast food chokin pig i have become. new meds new out look and new training thanks to my amazing friends nikki and jay.
todays work out
5 rounds of each
5 rep hanging power cleans 95lbs
10 push ups
15 body squats.
yeah it dont sound like much at all but untill you try it after not really working out for 7 years shut the hell up and get in the gym. i offer a personal challenge to anyone who reads this. live this work out and diet for 1 month and i bet you 100.00 you feel a billion times better than you did.
if your over weight if your lazy or if you just have a few pounds you cant seem to lose crossfit and zone diet is for you or if you choose to go more radical do the paleo style of diet. i hate the word diet cause let me tell you every diet out there sucks THEY DO NOT WORK. look at oprah she has done a few hundred of em and her weight yoyos more than fat kid loves cake.
DO NOT DIET change your eating habits. again diets are a gimmick every last one of them. unless you change your portions and change your style of eating and the food you consumes FOR LIFE!!!! you will never lose weight. I know this and i have known this since the years in the army but i never DID it. americans are walking time bombs for cancer heart attacks and morbid obesity. and my goal with this is to prove that if i can do it anyone can.. bet me race me challange me ill do it if what i am doing now inspires one other person to lose weight or get in shape than my success is just that. and i say success because i am GOING to do this no matter what it takes with never giving up. so take a chance on yer self because i have learned one thing in this life. YOU and only YOU are in control of your own life no matter what you must decided for your self and live with your self in every choice you make. thats it. end of discussion. NOONE esle can be held responsible for you. you ate the food you sat on the couch you passed up the gym for taco bell.. YOU no one else .. unless you have some medical condition that occurs naturally you caused your obesity. JUST like i did.. yeah i suffer from depression and PTSD both are difficult to deal with but they are just that disorders that can be dealt with. so NO MORE excuses for me im taking charge of my life and im never giving up.and when i open my gym and nutrition center in a few years i hope i can help everyone to shed the weight and give up on the nasty processed hormone injected life we as americans are subjected to.
live well and be healthy.
or die tryin!

okay work outs and diet

so far im doing cross fit scaled down in the beggining of course but its still hell. try it you will hate it but in a month you will love it. i started at 287 about 3 weeks ago i have cut out breads and dairy and basically eating a paleo style diet look up paleo diet another thing you will hate for the first month.. SO off we go. missed a few days in the gym this week but im going to remedy that. tired of the out of breath walks and everyone closing thier eyes when i run to third playing softball hoping i dont have a heart attack or break something running around the bases. im slow outa shape and miserable. not liking anything , i have 2 real good friends helping me train and a few others pushing me along a great woman behind me even though that may not be a safe place to stand in case i pass out.. well updates to follow. i will write my work outs and if i can figure it out post pics. thanks for reading and email any tips you like or post em.
LOU

WELL im finally really doing this

alot of bs alot of excuses and alot of problems but im back on the horse. i will try to update daily from now on and add some pictures and stuff to track my progress but this is hard and anyone who says it is easy needs to get a punch in the face with a pound of fat from my left cheek. nice visual huh? well not worried about what i did or was going to do this is a new day ....again!
so i will update and keep ya posted i really dont know how this stuff works so any pointers feel free to email em to me...

well another fine week. down 5 lbs and still trying.
got softball coming up so heres a quick run down. breakfast 3 eggs slice swiss and slice turkey omlet.
lunch chopped salad with chiken brest and rasberry vinegrette dinner salmon and veggies...
30 min eliptical for dessert. gonna start trying to post some pics of my before and after but i think 5 lbs is a start.
gonna look into one of those full body clensing deals and see what they are all about.

DAY ONE

well my first day started already and well I did okay. walked a half mile and rode the bike 20 mins . its a start. breakfast was 3 egg omelet with turkey and swiss and a small coffee.
lunch was a sweet treat I had tomato and fresh mozzeralla salad. with a snack of a fiber one bar. dinner was a nice chicken dish with broccoli and glass water.
no weight loss to check in with as of yet and no real work out plan but im on my way!
two weeks since the new meds and no night mares and no panic attacks except for one cause i was stuffed in a bar with a bunch of fake tan spiked hair meat heads and thier plastic girlfriends uggggggh..i dont like being stuck in a confined space or crowded room since i have been home from iraq. more on this later..

It all started

well where does it ever really start huh?
im 32 dont want to die, im about 80 pounds over weight, severe depression and I have PTSD. BUT im a fighter so I have that on my side.
im not sure about blogs or how they work or who sees them or what not but this is a way for me to have an outlet. a way to be happy. a way to track my progress. i guess you can say i had an awakining or epiphany(spelling sux). there are so many blogs out there so i figured i would start my own. my start weight is 285 i was 315 when i started my weight loss 4 years ago but never got serious for the last 4 years. i guess you can say i was inspired by living. there is so much in my head and i think this is a way to get it out.maybe make some sense of it.
so read as you wish and feel free to comment or email me or whatever.. okay were off!

very simple this is my fight.

well this is where i am going to post my ramblings on my battle to lose weight, get back in shape and fight to win my battle with PTSD and depression.
im gonna start from the beginning and to not stray from what my goal is i figure this is a way to track my progress and to see what others think. get help and get encouragement and of course criticism, cause im sure theres a bunch of people out there who have nothing better to do then to read this. Soooooo here we go.
where do i begin i guess where im at where i came from and where im headed.. thats a start.!